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Home Lifestyle Fashion

Unveiling the ‘Mistress Dispeller’: Love, Deception, and Self-Discovery

October 22, 2025
in Fashion
Reading Time: 3 min

Listen to and follow Modern Love

‘I remember thinking, why did I let this woman whose entire job is to orchestrate breakups influence my own belief in this relationship?’

An illustration of three individuals in red and black clothes, centered against a background of concentric black line drawings.
Illustration by Brian Rea

In bustling cities across China, a unique type of consultant exists: the “mistress dispeller.” These professionals are hired by spouses seeking to end their partner’s infidelity, masterfully navigating complex relationships to convince the lover to break things off. The remarkable aspect? When all goes according to their elaborate plan, those involved truly believe the decision to end the affair was their own.

On this intriguing episode of “Modern Love,” filmmaker Elizabeth Lo shares her immersive three-year experience alongside a mistress dispeller. She delves into the intricate techniques and psychological secrets behind their success, revealing how this unusual documentary project profoundly influenced her own romantic life, leading to an unexpected personal breakup.

Don’t miss Lo’s compelling documentary, “Mistress Dispeller,” now showing in select theaters.

Calling All Listeners! The “Modern Love” team is keen to hear how financial disagreements are impacting your relationship. Share your stories with us, and you might receive expert advice in a future episode. Discover how to submit your voice memo on our website.

Interested in sharing your own narrative? Learn how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times, or craft a concise “Tiny Love Story.”

Gain full access to all New York Times podcasts, covering everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today through our website or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Transcripts for new episodes are typically made available on these pages within a week.


“Modern Love” is proudly hosted by Anna Martin, with production expertise from Reva Goldberg, Emily Lang, Davis Land, Amy Pearl, Sara Curtis and Elisa Gutierrez. The show is expertly edited by Davis Land, Lynn Levy and Jen Poyant, our esteemed executive producer. Production management is handled by Christina Djossa. Daniel Ramirez masterfully mixes the show, with recording contributions from Maddy Masiello and Nick Pitman. Original music graces each episode, composed by Pat McCusker, Elisheba Ittoop, Dan Powell, Marion Lozano, Carole Sabouraud, Aman Sahota, Chelsea Daniel, Sophia Lanman, Rowan Niemisto and Diane Wong. Our memorable theme music is also by Dan Powell.

A special thank you extends to Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Larissa Anderson, Dahlia Haddad, Lisa Tobin, Brooke Minters, Felice León, Dave Mayers, Eddie Costas, Sawyer Roque, Sophie Erickson, Mariya Abdulkaf, Mark Zemel, Pat Gunther, Mahima Chablani, Jeffrey Miranda, Isabella Anderson, Christine Nguyen, Reyna Desai, Jordan Cohen, Victoria Kim, Nina Lassam and Julia Simon for their invaluable contributions.

Got something to say? Reach out to us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com.

Craving more “Modern Love”? Dive into past stories, catch up on the acclaimed TV series, or sign up for our heartwarming newsletter. You can also find exclusive merchandise at the NYT Store and explore our two beloved books: “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less.”

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