Dr. Mattie Wolf, a 37-year-old neonatologist and pediatrician in Atlanta, is intimately familiar with pregnancy—both professionally and personally, as a mother of two.
Despite her extensive medical expertise, Dr. Wolf found herself swamped with unwanted pregnancy advice, not just from family but even from complete strangers on the street.
“It makes you question every decision as a mother, wondering if you’re truly doing what’s best for your baby,” Dr. Wolf explains. “Even with my medical training and understanding of evidence-based care, these comments still sow seeds of doubt.”
This past week, former President Trump stirred controversy by strongly advising pregnant women against taking Tylenol, referencing unsubstantiated claims connecting acetaminophen to autism. While it might seem unusual for a national leader to issue such a directive, especially encouraging expectant mothers to “tough out” pain, both mothers and healthcare providers confirm this pattern is far from new. Pregnant women have long endured a relentless stream of advice, often pressuring them to prioritize the baby above all else and to avoid medical interventions.
“His statements echoed sentiments pregnant women hear constantly,” notes Emily Oster, founder of ParentData and an economics professor at Brown University. “This pervasive idea that medication should only be a last resort, taken only when ‘things have gotten so bad that there’s no other option,’ is exactly what we hear about things like SSRIs, for example.”
She adds that new mothers are perpetually made to feel responsible for every outcome, leading to immense stress.
No Recognition for Enduring Pain
Nicole Camardo, a certified nurse-midwife at the University of Illinois Hospital & Health Sciences System, concurs. She observes a strong, often social media-driven, narrative pushing pregnant individuals to “tough it out”—be it through pain, fever, or even during labor itself.
“In my experience, patients deeply struggle with this expectation,” Dr. Camardo, who holds a doctorate in nursing practice, states. “They perceive needing Tylenol, an epidural, or even an induction as a personal failure. But the reality is, choosing medically appropriate relief or intervention is a sign of strength, not weakness.”
She recounts witnessing numerous patients, just last week, grappling with “shame and uncertainty” about using Tylenol, despite it being widely considered safe for pregnancy under medical supervision by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.
“Suffering is not a prerequisite for motherhood,” she firmly asserts.
Dr. Oster points out that giving unsolicited advice to pregnant women is a tradition as old as time itself, jokingly adding it’s been happening for “billions of years.”
“Historically, it was usually just your mother-in-law or a neighbor, and you could easily dismiss it,” she says. “It wasn’t a constant, inescapable barrage.”
Today, however, with omnipresent social media and a relentless news cycle, this “advice” is so continuous it can overwhelm one’s nervous system, a stark contrast to two decades ago.
The current situation is particularly unique because it involves a former president directly challenging medical consensus on an issue the “medical establishment largely deems acceptable,” Dr. Oster highlights.
Hannah Everett, a 27-year-old stay-at-home mom of two toddlers, recalls battling a torrent of unwanted opinions throughout both her pregnancies. She heard everything from “You should gain more weight for the baby” to “Why did you gain so much?” and contradictory directives on breastfeeding: “You should!” versus “Oh no, don’t pump!”
“Ultimately, it’s less about advice and more about people trying to dictate your pregnancy experience,” says Ms. Everett, who resides in Charleston, S.C.
When she heard the former President’s comments about Tylenol, she “honestly laughed.” She had experienced severe pelvic and back pain in the last trimesters of both pregnancies, and for her, “Tylenol was the only thing that provided relief and helped me sleep.”
The Erosion of Maternal Self-Confidence
Dr. Linda Eckert, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Washington, expressed concern that the former President’s statement would “fuel anxieties” and reinforce the notion that maternal suffering is a necessary sacrifice for the baby. “Now, women are being implicitly told that if they seek pain relief, even with Tylenol, they simply aren’t ‘tough enough.’”
This relentless onslaught of external opinions, however well-meaning, can have tangible negative consequences for the vital relationship between expectant mothers and their healthcare providers, Dr. Eckert explains.
“As a medical provider, the challenge is understanding that you’re never just speaking to the patient in front of you,” she elaborates. “You’re addressing all the voices and opinions that have influenced them.”
Gabrielle Lind, a licensed clinical social worker in New York specializing in perinatal mental health, frequently sees clients burdened with “worry or guilt about epidurals, using SSRIs for pregnancy-related anxiety or depression, or feeling ashamed about considering stopping breastfeeding, even when it’s painful or unsustainable.”
She characterizes this as an unyielding cultural narrative dictating what “good” mothers should or shouldn’t do, ultimately eroding their self-trust. A significant part of her therapeutic approach involves helping clients vocalize these societal pressures, thereby alleviating the shame often associated with conforming to (or deviating from) cultural expectations.
Practically, she advises caution regarding social media influencers and reminds clients to only seek advice when genuinely facing a problem, rather than constantly consuming unsolicited information.
Dr. Eckert proactively engages patients by asking, “Have you heard anything that concerns you about what I’m telling you?” This approach acknowledges the immense challenge women face in navigating the multitude of advice.
Yet, for many expectant women, quieting this incessant external noise remains a formidable task.
Keeya-Lee Ayre, 33, experienced severe nausea, migraines, and debilitating body pain during her 2019 pregnancy. As a researcher with multiple postgraduate degrees, she notes that most people in her circle refrained from offering unwanted health advice.
Nevertheless, she felt overwhelmed by frequently contradictory public health guidelines that often conflicted with her obstetrician’s recommendations, leaving her feeling profoundly uncertain.
“Driven by intense anxiety, I was unwilling to take any perceived risks,” Ms. Ayre from Atlanta shares. “I internalized a significant portion of that pressure.”
She emphasizes that individuals with large platforms must exercise extreme caution with the messages they convey to mothers.
“Mothers are already under immense pressure and burdened with countless expectations,” she concludes. “Carelessly adding more to that burden serves no one.”