Welcome to Late Night Roundup, your essential recap of last night’s best late-night moments, designed so you can catch some Zs while we handle the comedy. Speaking of what’s good to watch, don’t miss the 50 best movies currently streaming on Netflix.
Government Reboot: Colbert’s Hilarious Diagnosis
The United States government faced its first shutdown since 2018 this Wednesday, plunging the nation into a familiar brand of political gridlock.
Stephen Colbert, never one to miss an opportunity for sharp commentary, quipped that he hadn’t seen this particular crisis coming. With a grin, he noted that “The Late Show” had, remarkably, managed to outlive the federal government, proclaiming, “because we’re still open, and they done shut down.”
“I thought the worst thing that could happen this week was when Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban broke up. If two hot Australians with the same face can’t make it work, then what hope is there for the rest of us?” — RONNY CHIENG
“But you know what? Maybe this is a good thing, you know? The government hasn’t been working that great lately. Who knows why? Maybe — maybe somebody got the government wet, you know? Let’s unplug it for a while, plug it back in, see if it reboots. If that doesn’t work, maybe toss it in a bag of rice. Leave it there for a couple hours. If that doesn’t work, we’ll just throw it away and buy a new one with a better camera and a functioning president.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Shutdown Edition)
“Well, guys, after Congress failed to reach a spending deal, the government shut down for the first time since 2018. Yeah, as a result, all nonessential government workers will be sent home without pay. Today, President Trump looked at JD Vance and said, ‘[imitating Trump] JD, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Look, this is the classic dispute between the parties. Democrats say that the government should help pay for health care, and Republicans say, ‘That’s what GoFundMe is for.’” — RONNY CHIENG
“Trump really is running the country like it’s one of his businesses. He said he would.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Just to give you some perspective, the government being shut down is even worse than when it’s up and running.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
On Wednesday’s “Tonight Show,” musical artist Doja Cat joined in for a lively round of Song Scramble as co-host.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Tonight on “Late Night,” catch Ayo Edebiri, the star of “After the Hunt,” as she joins Seth Meyers for an interview.
Also, Check This Out
Singer-songwriter Hayley Williams opened up on this week’s Popcast, sharing how the journey of her long-standing band, Paramore, has profoundly influenced her third solo album.