Forget the World Series! This weekend, ‘Saturday Night Live’ turned its spotlight to an even more dramatic showdown: the chaotic race for New York City mayor.
Kicking off with a bang, the episode, hosted by Miles Teller and with musical genius Brandi Carlile, opened with a brilliant satirical debate featuring three top mayoral hopefuls, brilliantly impersonated by Teller himself alongside two ‘SNL’ alumni.
Miles Teller, stepping into the role of former New York Governor Andrew M. Cuomo, an independent mayoral hopeful, declared in his opening statement, ‘I guided us through Covid, and then, you know, yada yada yada, honk honk, squeeze squeeze (complete with suggestive hand gestures). Regardless, I’m back!’ He humorously added that his experience meant he knew the city ‘like the back of a woman’s back,’ exclaiming, ‘Mamma mia!’
Comedian and actor Ramy Youssef portrayed Democratic front-runner Zohran Mamdani, expressing his delight to be there, though bracing himself to ‘spend the next hour hearing my opponents pronounce my name in ways you couldn’t begin to imagine.’
Youssef continued, aiming to ease the fears of those wary of a ‘socialist Muslim’ candidate by ‘smiling after every answer in a way that physically hurts my face.’ True to his word, he maintained a wide, exaggerated grin throughout the entire sketch.
Shane Gillis, the standup comedian and actor (and former near- ‘SNL’ cast member), took on the role of Republican candidate Curtis Sliwa. Gillis humorously expressed his joy at being there, quipping, ‘and not getting shot in the back of a Yellow Cab five times by the Gottis and Gambinos, as I was, famously, in 1992, 1993 and ’94.’
Gillis confidently declared himself the superior candidate, extending an apology to ‘Mr. Cuomo and — I believe I’m saying this right — Zoltar Rob Zombie.’
Moderator Errol Louis, played by Kenan Thompson, posed the crucial question: why would anyone want ‘the worst job in the world’?
Teller’s Cuomo instantly retorted, ‘As soon as you are elected mayor, everyone in the city immediately hates you. And in that way, I am already one step ahead of the game.’
Youssef articulated his vision for a revitalized New York, promising affordable housing, free healthcare, and city-wide Wi-Fi. When questioned if he could deliver, he conceded, ‘I’m not sure yet. But together we’re going to find out. That the answer is no.’
When asked about their preferred bagel orders, Gillis delivered a bizarre and hilarious response: ‘As you know, in 1982 I had my penis cut off and fed to me by the yakuza. So, obviously, blueberry bagel, toasted, strawberry cream cheese, eaten over a garbage can.’
Following a humorous rejection of a mock endorsement from Mayor Eric Adams (portrayed by ‘SNL’ cast member Kam Patterson), Youssef broke the fourth wall, delivering a direct, ‘romantic’ appeal to female voters grappling with ‘white guilt’ over gentrifying former Spanish neighborhoods.
He urged, ‘Why don’t you vote for me? You’ll feel a little less bad about that chicken and rice shop getting turned into a Sweetgreen.’
Just as the candidates prepared to tackle the weighty issue of the city’s biggest challenge, they were dramatically interrupted by James Austin Johnson, reprising his iconic role as President Trump, who burst in with a triumphant ‘It’s me!’
After playfully mocking the mayoral hopefuls and sharing his unique bagel preference (‘Big Mac with a hole in the middle’), Johnson’s Trump declared that despite no longer residing in New York, he’s ‘always watching — lurking in the shadows, much like the late, great Phantom of the Opera.’
He then capped off his appearance by dramatically donning a ‘Phantom’ mask and delivering an unexpectedly melodious rendition of ‘The Music of the Night.’
Double Act of the Week: Teller’s Twin Talent and the Trumps’ White House Makeover
Watch out, Michael B. Jordan! When it came to satirizing the ‘Property Brothers’ on ‘SNL’, host Miles Teller impressively played both Drew and Jonathan Scott. This pre-recorded segment also brought back James Austin Johnson as Trump, alongside Chloe Fineman as Melania, hilariously bumbling through a White House East Wing renovation. Teller revealed, ‘The Trumps have already made a few subtle changes to the house,’ with Fineman adding, ‘Donald got rid of the portrait of F.D.R., and he put a painting of himself as a soldier from Halo.’
Weekend Update’s Best Gags: Halloween with Trump and SNAP Benefit Shenanigans
At the Weekend Update desk, anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che delivered sharp commentary on the White House’s Halloween festivities and the Trump administration’s controversial attempts to suspend SNAP benefits.
Colin Jost opened by noting, ‘President Trump and the First Lady hosted a trick or treat event at what’s left of the White House. And this is one of my favorite things that the president does because it’s so clear he never trick-or-treated once in his life.’ He then showed a video from 2019 of Trump placing candy on top of a child’s Minion costume, remarking, ‘Melania’s just like, ‘I guess that is how it’s done.’ He then showed a clip from this week of Trump doing the exact same thing to a kid dressed as D.J. Marshmello. ‘Just put it in the bag! Why is he so weird? Even the kid is like, ‘This is not right.’ It’s kind of an embodiment of his entire presidency, because it’s just a violation of norms that no other president or person has ever conceived of. Like, who’s ever thought, ‘I should put the candy on the kid’s head?” Jost concluded by playing a video of the Trumps making a grand entrance to Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller,’ sarcastically adding, ‘Just the perfect soundtrack to lure kids to a famous mansion.’
Michael Che then chimed in with his take:
Che quipped, ‘Due to the government shutdown, SNAP food benefits ran out of funds today. But the government still provides needy families with free food through the Second Amendment. Japan’s new prime minister, Sanae Takaichi, said during a press conference that she is nominating President Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize. And I can’t believe I get to say this, but thank God nobody listens to women.’
Weekend Update Desk Segments: George Santos Returns and a Shutdown Metaphor
After a two-week hiatus, Bowen Yang triumphantly returned to ‘SNL’s’ Weekend Update as George Santos, the ex-congressman recently pardoned by President Trump. Introduced by Jost as ‘the world’s No. 1 marathoner,’ Yang hilariously claimed victory in the (yet-to-happen) New York City Marathon. He also shared updates from prison calls with ‘Ghislaine,’ ‘Luigi,’ and ‘Diddy,’ and proudly displayed a jeweled necklace ‘stolen’ from the Louvre, asserting it was rightfully inherited from his ‘Zales’ ancestors.
Rounding out the segment, Ashley Padilla and Andrew Dismukes charmed audiences as a disheveled post-hookup couple. Their awkward exchanges served as a surprisingly apt and amusing metaphor for the ongoing, messy negotiations between Republicans and Democrats during the government shutdown.