Welcome to our Late Night Roundup, where we bring you the sharpest quips and funniest moments from last night’s television, so you can stay informed and entertained without sacrificing your sleep. Think of us as your comedy connoisseurs!
It Comes in Threes
During a recent Air Force One trip to Japan, President Trump casually sparked conversation about potentially seeking an unprecedented third term, despite constitutional limitations. He told reporters he’d “consider it,” quickly adding, “I haven’t really thought about it.” However, Seth Meyers was quick to point out the irony, recalling “Trump 2028” hats that had been spotted on the president’s desk just weeks prior.
“You haven’t thought about it? You have merch. That’s like James Cameron saying he hasn’t thought about ‘Avatar 4.’” — SETH MEYERS
“It’s so weird to make a hat for a thing that can’t happen. Wearing a Trump 2028 hat is like wearing a hat that says, ‘Super Bowl Champion New York Jets.’” — SETH MEYERS
“Donald Trump yet again trolled the media by refusing to rule out running for an illegal third term, which you can’t do because it’s against the Constitution. And if there’s one thing we know about the man, it’s that he respects the sanctity of documents.” — SETH MEYERS, while a photo of documents haphazardly stacked in a Mar-a-Lago bathroom was displayed
“The Constitution says you’re limited to two terms, and this is your second term, so running in 2028 is not an option. When this term is over, you can go back to sitting on your golf course like a recently divorced gargoyle.” — SETH MEYERS
“Indications are very clear he’s going to do it. Because you don’t move into a house, knock down a wing and build a 90,000 square foot ballroom for the next guy. Trump’s not a house flipper; he’s not Ellen. He’s in it for the long haul.” — JON STEWART
The Punchiest Punchlines (Property Brother Trump Edition)
The conversation quickly shifted to President Trump’s reported White House renovations, particularly the construction of a massive ballroom. Jon Stewart couldn’t resist weighing in:
“What’s the one thing that we’ve wanted in this country for as long as I can remember? An outsized ballroom.” — JON STEWART
The late-night hosts further lampooned the president’s ambitious — and perhaps unconstitutional — plans:
“You know, if George Washington had known there would come a day when an American president would be so disrespected that he couldn’t even build a ballroom without filing plans first, would he even have crossed the Delaware?” — JON STEWART
“He is demolishing the East Wing of the White House, and he says he won’t stop until he finds those Epstein files.” — BILL MAHER
“No, it’s because we’re putting in a big ballroom. One of the greatest in the world, he says. Did I mention the debt has hit $38 trillion?” — BILL MAHER
Jimmy Kimmel joined the chorus of comedians, imagining the financial implications and reality TV parallels:
“I told you we should have made him put down a security deposit.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Wait a minute: Is it possible that he’s planning to sell the White House? Fix it up and flip it on us?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“[imitating Trump] ‘Marble, the most beautiful marble.’ He talks like it’s an episode of ‘Love It or List It.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Kimmel perfectly summed up the situation:
“So far, Trump is behaving less like a president and more like a property brother.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Beyond the political jabs, there were plenty of lighthearted moments. Catch James Corden joining Jimmy Fallon for a hilarious five-second musical singing challenge on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Looking ahead, mark your calendars for Tuesday night! Singer-songwriter Lucy Dacus is set to appear on “The Daily Show” to chat about her new album, “Forever is a Feeling: The Archives.”
Also, Check This Out
Finally, immerse yourself in the world of high fashion! A stunning collection of items from legendary designers like Bob Mackie is heading to auction. This trend highlights how auction houses are revolutionizing the shopping experience, offering unique exclusivity and a rich sense of provenance to buyers.