Reading Samin Nosrat’s recent piece on her cherished weekly dinner party filled me, and I suspect many others, with a warm sense of longing. She recounted how observing the effortless hospitality in a friend’s home—where the mere appearance of Castelvetrano olives prompted everyone to set aside their phones—inspired her to forge her own tradition: a regular Monday night gathering with her friends. These dinners have become far more than just meals; they are a source of profound connection and nourishment. As Samin beautifully put it, “I’ve learned that if I let other people care for me, they will. I’ve learned how it feels to build something sacred with people I love.” Her group even affectionately calls their Monday dinners their “religion.”
It’s hard not to feel a twinge of yearning for such genuine camaraderie! Who wouldn’t adore having a consistent “oasis of time” with close friends, a delightful weekly gathering to anticipate? For me, this envy is tinged with frustration, not because the idea feels impossible, but because it feels so achievable. Just pick a day, invite some people, plan a meal—and voilà, a tradition is born. Samin even offers practical advice on how to turn dinner parties into a regular habit. So, what truly prevents us from launching our own weekly supper club?
During the most isolating phases of the pandemic, many of us fantasized about the flood of social gatherings we’d host and attend once we could safely meet again. We vowed never to take simple togetherness for granted! Yet, in the years that followed, bringing groups together has, ironically, felt more challenging. When I think about hosting a dinner now, there’s an inexplicable resistance, a ‘friction,’ that simply wasn’t there before.
Is it just me, perhaps out of practice with entertaining? Or is it my social circle, seemingly too swamped to commit to even a single dinner date, let alone a weekly one? My intuition suggests that after years of immersing ourselves in online life, our digital devices have claimed even more of our precious time than we realize or are willing to admit.
There was a time when an evening at home offered a manageable selection of diversions: watching TV, enjoying a film, reading a book, or perhaps playing a board game. When we planned to go out, it was clear what we were setting aside at home. It was a defined and familiar set of activities to balance against the potential joy of a social evening with friends.
Today, our devices offer such a vast array of distractions that a night in feels limitless. We can stream any movie, simultaneously chat with several friends, scroll through others’ vacation pictures, catch up on news, pay bills, and even shop for new shoes. We may not explicitly declare, “I can’t go out; I need to stay home and look at my phone,” but an evening at home no longer feels dull or uneventful. Moreover, constant digital communication with friends can diminish the urgency of seeing them face-to-face. While we might yearn for more genuine, in-person connections, we often fail to actively seek them out, or even seize opportunities when they arise.
Samin’s dinner resonates deeply with the spirit of a Shabbat dinner, a tradition I’ve always cherished but never quite integrated as a weekly cornerstone. Consistent commitments are notoriously difficult for those with packed schedules. I recall a recent conversation with friends who moved just across from my office: “Regular Monday dinner?” one suggested. “Absolutely!” I enthusiastically agreed, momentarily forgetting the sheer volume of commitments that already fill every day of our week. Unsurprisingly, our envisioned dinner ritual is still awaiting its debut.
The real key, I believe, lies in prioritization. You simply won’t maintain a standing date unless you firmly decide that this activity is paramount—so important that you’re willing to decline other spontaneous invitations. You won’t book a dentist appointment or enroll in a Spanish class on that specific evening. Mere desire isn’t sufficient. It requires a clear purpose and conviction: ‘I want this kind of community in my life, and I am committed to reshaping my week to make it a reality.’ And naturally, you’ll need to find like-minded individuals equally dedicated to this shared endeavor. Despite the challenges, I’m determined to make it happen. Won’t you consider joining me?
THE LATEST NEWS
Government Shutdown
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Senate Democrats and Republicans blocked each other’s plans to keep government funding flowing. If they can’t agree, a shutdown will begin on Oct. 1.
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Behind the impasse: Democrats want to increase funding for health care and Medicaid; Republicans don’t.
The Courts
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The top federal prosecutor in Eastern Virginia quit after President Trump called for his ouster. He said he hadn’t found enough evidence to bring charges against Letitia James, the New York attorney general who oversaw a sexual abuse case against Trump.
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The Trump administration asked the Supreme Court to let it enforce an anti-transgender measure that says the sex on someone’s passport must match an original birth certificate.
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A federal judge threw out Trump’s defamation suit against The Times, calling it “improper and impermissible” in its present form.
More Politics
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The S.E.C. dropped enforcement cases against three men pardoned by Trump, possibly sparing them hundreds of millions of dollars in penalties.
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The Senate confirmed Michael Waltz to serve as U.N. ambassador. As national security adviser, he added a journalist to a group chat discussing war plans.
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Trump and Xi Jinping suggested they were near a deal to put U.S. investors in charge of TikTok’s American operations. Katrin Bennhold and Lily Kuo explain what it means for U.S.-China relations.
International
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Three Russian fighter jets violated the airspace of Estonia, a NATO member, in what Estonia’s foreign minister called an “unprecedentedly brazen” intrusion.
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Israel has killed thousands of Hamas fighters, decimated its weapon stockpiles and destroyed many of its tunnels. Yet the group remains a powerful force in Gaza, Adam Rasgon reports.
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Dozens of people were killed while praying in the besieged Sudanese city of El Fasher.
Other Big Stories
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The C.D.C.’s vaccine committee voted to further limit access to Covid vaccines. It now recommends that adults 65 and older receive the shots only after consulting with a doctor.
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A hard-fought global treaty to protect ocean life will finally become international law.
THE WEEK IN CULTURE
Robert Redford
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Robert Redford, who died this week at 89, made no secret of his disdain for Hollywood pomp. But the industry loved him, despite — or perhaps because of — his outspoken beliefs.
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Redford spent much of his life in Utah and worked to preserve the area’s natural beauty.
Film
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France is submitting an Iranian movie, “It Was Just an Accident,” for best international feature at the Oscars. The move bypasses Iran’s government, which snubbed the film.
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“HIM,” a thriller set in the world of professional football, stars Marlon Wayans as a veteran who invites a young quarterback to train at his compound. What could go wrong?
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A probing new documentary, “Predators,” examines the sociological implications of the series “To Catch a Predator.”
Comedy
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Why is Austin’s comedy scene booming? For one thing, the city is cheaper than Los Angeles or New York. But comics say there’s also an ideological freedom there that appeals to them.
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Gianmarco Soresi’s special, “Thief of Joy,” is “superb,” our critic Jason Zinoman writes: It marries Broadway showmanship with a club comic’s irreverence.
Video Games
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Hollow Knight: Silksong, one of the most anticipated indie games of the decade, is out. It’s “a world meant to be lived in, to be run through again and again,” our critic writes.
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Disco Elysium, a detective story with literary prose and serious politics, resonated with an audience hungry for mature storytelling. But that success tore apart the team that created it.
More Culture
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Jane Austen fans gathered in the English city of Bath to celebrate her 250th birthday. Many dressed the part.
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The first Farm Aid benefit concert was intended as a one-off in 1985. But it has run almost every year since. Tonight is Farm Aid 40, featuring Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Willie Nelson and others.
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Glenn Lowry, whose tenure as director of the Museum of Modern Art just ended, used his farewell address to push museums to fight for their artists.
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Heidi Klum hosted her own Oktoberfest in Munich, drawing models, celebrities and influencers — in lederhosen.
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After 50 years, Penn & Teller were finally inducted into the Magic Circle, an exclusive private society of magicians based in London.
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“We really do believe in our own mythology,” says Nikole Hannah-Jones, the creator of the 1619 Project. She joins Wesley Morris on the latest episode of “Cannonball.”
CULTURE CALENDAR
🎤 “Am I the Drama?” (Out now): It has been seven years since Cardi B released her Grammy-winning debut album, “Invasion of Privacy,” and around five years since “WAP,” her explicit and paradigm-shifting collaboration with Megan Thee Stallion. Cardi has, however, found a way to remain relevant as one of the funniest and most charming figures in rap. She’s an all-around good time in her music and, seemingly, in life — a people’s princess, if you will. (See the glowing online response to her recent quips on the witness stand.) Now she’s back with her second album, which is stacked with guest appearances by Janet Jackson, Selena Gomez and other artists. Expect more catchy hooks and quotable bars.
RECIPE OF THE WEEK
Red Wine Honey Cake
The Jewish High Holy Days start on Monday, which means now is the perfect time to bake a honey cake to celebrate. If you’ve always thought that classic honey cakes were cloying, try my very untraditional red wine honey cake instead. The acidity of red wine tempers the honey’s sweetness, while warm spices and fresh ginger round out the flavor. Plus, you don’t need a mixer to make it. It stirs together easily with a whisk and bakes up light and tender, ready to serve with some fresh plums or berries as you toast a happy, healthy new year. L’shana tova!
REAL ESTATE
The Hunt: A mother teamed up with her daughter and son-in-law to find a New England home they could all live in together. Which did they choose? Play our game.
What you get for $550,000 in Uruguay: A top-floor loft near Montevideo’s architecture school; a renovated 1950s apartment in the central business district; or a seaside penthouse once occupied by a noted decorator.
LIVING
36 hours in Zadar, Croatia: The 3,000-year-old port, surrounded by an archipelago and the Velebit Mountains, is an amalgam of architecture from a parade of past residents.
Amex Platinum: The card is getting a refresh. And it’s going to be even more exclusive now.
Fox News best-sellers: The network has been capitalizing on its popular personalities and loyal viewers with a simple strategy: publishing books.
ADVICE FROM WIRECUTTER
How to find a perfect suit
As I was recently reminded during my quest to find the best men’s suits, few garments are as intimidating to shop for. They’re expensive, they come in dozens of variations and there are vanishingly few reliable resources. A few tips can help. Start with a clear goal: Does your wardrobe call for a formal suit, or will something casual suffice? This can help you pick between various cuts, styles and tailoring options. Speaking of, don’t skip the tailor: Even if you could get away with wearing a standard-size suit just as it is, there’s a good chance you would still benefit (immensely) from having it tailored. Finally, take it slow. A proper suit is a true investment piece, and if you choose right it can be worn and enjoyed for a long time. — Mitch Moxley
GAME OF THE WEEK
Azerbaijan Grand Prix: Formula 1 is both a team sport and an individual sport. Each team has two drivers, who race to earn points for their teams and themselves, and champions are crowned in both categories. As you might imagine, competing against your own teammate can lead to some awkwardness.
McLaren is far and away the best team this year, but its drivers — Oscar Piastri and Lando Norris — are in a tight battle for the individual title. During the last race, team officials ordered Piastri to let Norris pass him. Piastri obeyed, and Norris won. Both teammates said they were OK with the call. But if it happens again, and Norris overtakes Piastri in the standings, that team spirit may be put to the test.
Sunday at 7 a.m. Eastern on ESPN
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Thanks for spending part of your weekend with The Times. — Melissa
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Amelia Nierenberg contributed to this newsletter.