Welcome to our Late Night Roundup, where we catch you up on the funniest moments from last night’s shows so you don’t have to stay up. We’re serving up the best political quips and timely jokes, alongside a quick tip: check out the 50 best movies on Netflix right now!
The Government Shutdown: A Never-Ending Drama, According to Late Night
As the nation faced the second day of a government shutdown, late-night hosts wasted no time dissecting the absurdity and impact of the political gridlock.
Kicking off the commentary, Jimmy Fallon perfectly captured the public’s sentiment, quipping, “No one has any idea how long it will last. People are calling it the ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ of government shutdowns.”
“Right now, the government has no funding and no clear path forward. We’ve basically become the United Red Lobster of America. It’s, like, ‘Are we open? Are we open? Are we not? We don’t know.’”
— Jimmy Fallon“If this does last a while, I think they should at least make it fun for the rest of us, right? I mean, how about for each day of the shutdown, they release one name from the Epstein list?”
— Jimmy Fallon
Stephen Colbert then highlighted the severity of the situation with dark humor:
“Services are closed, federal workers are going without pay. Things are so rough, Uncle Sam is already selling feet pics.”
— Stephen ColbertHe added, “You know what they say: When God closes a food-inspection program, he opens a Listeria outbreak.”
The Sharpest Zingers from Day Two of the Shutdown
Ronny Chieng offered a biting observation: “It’s day two of the shutdown, and only the most essential services are still operating: Social Security, Medicare and that department that makes up causes for autism.”
— Ronny ChiengGreg Gutfeld brought his usual provocative style: “It’s so bad that Jerry Nadler had to cut back on his diaper service, Hakeem Jeffries had to pawn his sombreros, paychecks are no longer being sent to Rashida Tlaib’s team of electrologists and, since there is no funding, they just repossessed the thing on top of Maxine Waters’ head.”
— Greg GutfeldHe then joked, “But this is nice — to raise some extra cash, the Secret Service is using Joe Biden’s car as an Uber.”
— Greg Gutfeld
Don’t Miss These Standout Moments
Adding to the night’s highlights, Jon Stewart made a memorable surprise appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” playfully showcasing a new ‘side hustle’ during the ongoing political drama.
Beyond the Headlines: A Must-See Film
For years, director Derek Cianfrance has wanted to cast Channing Tatum, noting, “I just thought, here’s a guy who’s the whole package, he can do everything.” Tatum now stars in “Roofman,” portraying a down-on-his-luck war veteran who carries out a series of remarkably polite McDonald’s robberies. A fascinating watch for those needing a break from current events!