Welcome to our Late Night Roundup, your essential catch-up on the previous night’s comedic brilliance, allowing you to rest easy while we keep tabs on the latest laughs. We’ve even got a bonus for you: the 50 best movies streaming right now.
The “Grey’s Anatomy” of Government Shutdowns
Thursday marked the second day of the ongoing government shutdown, a situation late-night hosts were quick to dissect.
Jimmy Fallon captured the mood perfectly, noting, “No one has any idea how long it will last. People are calling it the ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ of government shutdowns.” The comparison highlights the seemingly endless, dramatic nature of the political stalemate.
Watch a clip of Jimmy Fallon’s monologue discussing the government shutdown.
“Right now, the government has no funding and no clear path forward. We’ve basically become the United Red Lobster of America. It’s, like, ‘Are we open? Are we open? Are we not? We don’t know.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“If this does last a while, I think they should at least make it fun for the rest of us, right? I mean, how about for each day of the shutdown, they release one name from the Epstein list?” — JIMMY FALLON
“Services are closed, federal workers are going without pay. Things are so rough, Uncle Sam is already selling feet pics.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“You know what they say: When God closes a food-inspection program, he opens a Listeria outbreak.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Shutdown Day Two Edition)
Watch a segment highlighting other top jokes about the shutdown from various late-night shows.
“It’s day two of the shutdown, and only the most essential services are still operating: Social Security, Medicare and that department that makes up causes for autism.” — RONNY CHIENG
“It’s so bad that Jerry Nadler had to cut back on his diaper service, Hakeem Jeffries had to pawn his sombreros, paychecks are no longer being sent to Rashida Tlaib’s team of electrologists and, since there is no funding, they just repossessed the thing on top of Maxine Waters’ head.” — GREG GUTFELD
“But this is nice — to raise some extra cash, the Secret Service is using Joe Biden’s car as an Uber.” — GREG GUTFELD
The Bits Worth Watching
In a memorable moment, Jon Stewart made a surprise appearance on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” showcasing his comedic chops as part of a playful ‘side hustle.’
Also, Check This Out
In related news from the entertainment world, Channing Tatum stars in the film “Roofman,” portraying a down-on-his-luck war veteran who executes a series of notably polite McDonald’s robberies.