Actor Ishitta Arun has spoken out against social media trolls who criticized her family for smiling during the funeral of her uncle, veteran adman Piyush Pandey. Taking to Instagram, Ishitta explained that remembering Pandey through laughter was not a sign of disrespect but rather a continuation of his vibrant spirit.
“Grief isn’t a single script,” Ishitta wrote, adding, “And when you’re saying goodbye to a man who laughed louder than anyone else, remembering him through laughter isn’t disrespect. It’s continuity. It’s muscle memory. It’s knowing who he really was.” She clarified that the smiles were in response to a specific, characteristic remark made by Pandey, something only he could deliver.
Ishitta also reflected on societal expectations around grief, noting, “As a society, we tend to attach emotions to certain prescribed behaviours. If you’re not crying, then you must not be grieving. If you don’t display something a certain way, then you must not be feeling it.” She pointed out that this rigid view is deeply ingrained in Indian social conditioning and that the phrase ‘Log kya kahenge?’ (What will people say?) often dictates emotional expression.
Addressing the trolls directly, Ishitta stated that while their opinions are irrelevant, what troubles her is what their commentary represents. “Social media hasn’t created this mindset, it has simply made it more visible,” she observed. “Earlier, the same commentary happened within drawing rooms and family circles – now it is just typed out loud.” She highlighted the pervasive judgment on how people should feel, sit, or speak.
Recounting the funeral, Ishitta shared that the family sang ‘Mile Sur Mera Tumhara’ and cheered for Pandey, promising to gather in lighter spirits next time. She spoke of hearing his familiar commentary in their heads, with some actions prompting smiles. She expressed gratitude that her aunts and mother maintained their dignity, stating, “That is not vanity, that is health. That is continuity.” She concluded by quoting Pandey’s iconic line about their family bond: “Fevicol ka jod hai. Tootega nahi.”
Ishitta emphasized that she is not personally affected by the trolling, as she has been in the public eye long enough to distinguish between professional criticism and personal judgment. “This is not work. This is family,” she asserted. “And how we honour someone we love does not require explanation to anyone. If that makes someone uncomfortable, they are welcome to sit with their discomfort – we are not hosting it.”