When Peter Gustav Riherd and Jeffrey Jon Van Dyk first connected on OkCupid almost nine years ago, both were seeking a particular type of partner.
Mr. Riherd, 55, a corporate executive who thrives on structure and meticulous planning, typically found himself drawn to men he described as “strait-laced.” Conversely, Mr. Van Dyk, 52, an entrepreneur and a professionally trained singer, usually sought out free-spirited, artistic individuals.
Today, Mr. Van Dyk beautifully describes himself as a kite, with Mr. Riherd as his anchoring string.
“Pete and I both dated our fantasy guys before meeting each other, and with both of them, it just crashed and burned in a million pieces,” Mr. Van Dyk shared. “Our fantasies had to crumble to make room for something real.”
For these two men, life became intensely real over the past year.
Last January, shortly after their engagement, a devastating fire swept through part of the Southern California property where Mr. Riherd’s father, Mike Riherd, then 89, had resided for more than five decades. Displaced, he found a new home with Peter and Jeffrey in Los Angeles.
The ensuing months brought further challenges for Mike Riherd, including a cancer diagnosis and significant surgery. His son and future son-in-law wholeheartedly embraced their roles as caregivers.
Navigating these profound physical and emotional demands together forged an even deeper bond between the couple. “I’ve always loved and respected Pete, but watching how he has shown up for his father…” Mr. Van Dyk mused, “Just amazing.”
Mr. Riherd speaks of his partner with genuine admiration, marveling at how naturally Jeffrey embraced the role of caregiver, especially for someone not biologically related. Peter recounted a poignant night when he found Mr. Van Dyk kneeling beside his trembling future father-in-law at 1 a.m., gently calming his unsteady breathing and guiding him through a difficult episode.
“Point No. 1,497 why I’m marrying Jeffrey,” Mr. Riherd declared. “He legitimately came through.”
Mr. Riherd currently serves as a vice president of client partnerships at Zeta Global, an artificial intelligence-driven ad technology firm. He holds a bachelor’s degree in English literature from the University of California, Berkeley, and an M.B.A. from the University of Southern California.
Mr. Van Dyk, a former Microsoft project manager, leads the Courageous Messenger, a consultancy firm for business leaders. He earned a bachelor’s degree in music from St. Olaf College and occasionally records songs, including “Champion,” which he co-wrote for Mr. Riherd. He “believes in me so fully, so lock, stock and barrel,” Mr. Van Dyk shared.
“He’s not a savior, but a champion,” the song’s lyrics express. “My champion.”
The couple initially connected online in October 2016, both having spent considerable time reflecting on past relationships and identifying the most crucial qualities in a life partner.
By the time of their first in-person meeting on November 1st, they had already shared four extensive phone conversations, each lasting at least an hour and a half. This effortless connection seamlessly transitioned to their date at Zinqué, a bistro in West Hollywood, Calif. A few days later, during a hike, they shared their first kiss.
“When we started dating, sometimes in my head I’d be like, ‘He’s not this or he’s not that,’” Mr. Van Dyk admitted. “But every time I would leave a date, or every time we’d hang up the phone, I’d have a big old smile on my face. My gut was like, ‘Stay right here.’”
In November 2017, Mr. Van Dyk moved into Mr. Riherd’s home in the Beachwood Canyon neighborhood of Los Angeles. In March 2019, they jointly purchased a home in Los Feliz, where they currently reside with their Border terrier, Tucker.
“We accept each other for who we are, and who we aren’t,” Mr. Riherd said.
The couple exchanged vows on September 6th at Huron Substation, an events venue in Los Angeles. They wore matching blue linen suits and sported rings engraved with affectionate nicknames for each other— “Boobers” for Mr. Van Dyk and “Schmoopi” for Mr. Riherd. Mr. Van Dyk’s younger brother, Josh Van Dyk, officiated the ceremony, having been ordained through American Marriage Ministries for the special occasion.
While their commitment to a lifetime together was never in doubt, they chose to marry now, partly so Mr. Riherd’s father could witness their union. September 6th also marked Mike Riherd’s 90th birthday, and at the wedding reception, 100 guests joyfully raised their glasses in his honor.
The tribute felt especially fitting given the pivotal role Mr. Riherd’s father has played in the couple’s journey, and in Peter’s dating life overall, as a trusted confidant for matters of the heart. After his first date with Mr. Van Dyk, Peter immediately called his father from the car.
“Well,” he excitedly told him, “that went well.”