In 2021, Seattle-based violinist Kira Benson realized it was time to end their two-year “lavender marriage.” Though not an easy choice, they found an unexpected ally. As Mx. Benson put it, “If you have to dump your ex-husband, co-dump him with his mistress.”
Before taking the leap, 27-year-old Mx. Benson (who uses they/them pronouns) consulted their therapist, who affirmed divorce as a “good choice.” In a remarkable act of queer solidarity, they even clued in their husband’s “mistress” – a valid dynamic within Mx. Benson’s domestic partnership, not a legal marriage – about their shared partner’s problematic actions. The night the relationship ended, Mx. Benson and the mistress shared a surprisingly comfortable evening, indulging in comfort food and rounds of Animal Crossing.
Currently, the oldest members of Generation Z are in their late twenties – a demographic old enough to have experienced marriage, and in some cases, old enough to reconsider it. As this generation confronts the realities of divorce, they’re embracing the process with remarkable openness. For many, like Mx. Benson, a split is seen as a necessary step for mental well-being, rather than a source of shame. Instead of discreetly moving forward, these younger divorcees often publicly share their stories, even as they embark on new relationships.
Michel Janse, a 28-year-old content creator based in Oceanside, California, openly discusses her divorce. When crafting concise yet reflective summaries for her video channels, Ms. Janse frequently uses the phrase, “I found love after divorce.”
“It perfectly encapsulates my journey chronicled in videos over the years,” she explained. Even after remarrying last year, Ms. Janse emphasizes that her identity as a divorcée remains a significant part of who she is.
Whether we’re talking about young divorce overall, or Gen Z divorce specifically, the year 2025 sees these separations less as scandals and more as personal re-inventions. Megan Wallace, a 29-year-old London-based sex writer observing Gen Z’s relationship patterns, points to figures like actress Sophie Turner and model Emily Ratajkowski—who famously fashioned “divorce rings” from her engagement ring—as inspirations. According to Mx. Wallace, both women emerged from their divorces as newly and fully actualized versions of themselves.
Jackie Combs, a family law and divorce lawyer who previously represented Ms. Ratajkowski, states unequivocally that “the stigma of divorce is a thing of the past.” She observes that “individuals are increasingly viewing divorce as a relationship transition and a fresh start, rather than a source of guilt or shame.”
Ms. Combs, 37, notes that Gen Z approaches relationship endings with striking decisiveness. “They are remarkably transparent,” she explains, attributing this to their upbringing in a social media-driven world where “everything revolves around storytelling.” Consequently, she believes, “individuals are more inclined to be open and honest about their lives than previous generations.”
This generation, Ms. Janse suggests, seems to have an easier time walking away from relationships. She links this to a perceived abundance of options, though the actual realism of these options is debatable.
“With social media constantly accessible, we’re exposed to countless potential life paths,” Ms. Janse notes. “We scroll through our feeds and see ‘this’ person living on a sailboat in Maine, while ‘that’ person is in a New York high-rise. Witnessing these diverse lives firsthand makes it simpler to envision and embrace significant changes or shifts in our own.”
Mx. Wallace points out that today’s youth, having navigated the disruptions of the Covid pandemic and a volatile economic climate, are inherently accustomed to change. “Gen Z often anticipates having multiple marriages,” Mx. Wallace states, “believing that in a prolonged life with such rapid social evolution, staying with one person indefinitely isn’t a realistic expectation.”
When ‘Vibes’ Just Don’t Align
Unlike the stereotypical divorces of previous eras, often triggered by infidelity, the catalysts for Gen Z divorces tend to be far more nuanced.
“I frequently hear discussions about differing ‘love languages,’ a concept that has only become prominent in recent years,” observes Grant Moher, a 50-year-old Fairfax, Virginia lawyer who blogs about Gen Z divorce patterns. Mr. Moher notes a significant decrease in infidelity being cited as a primary reason for divorce among Gen Z clients, compared to older generations. (He acknowledges this could be due to affairs typically occurring later in a marriage). Instead, emotional well-being serves as the guiding principle for many young petitioners.
“I’ve certainly observed divorces driven by mental health concerns,” he stated, noting the pervasive influence of pop psychology terminology. “Terms like ‘gaslighting’ are common, as is ‘narcissist’ to describe what might simply be ordinary selfish behavior.”
Regarding asset division, Mr. Moher highlights that there’s typically minimal property to distribute, given that even the oldest Gen Z divorcées are still in their late twenties. However, they often grapple with substantial student loan debt and increasingly, digital currencies like Bitcoin. He also points out that most of his Gen Z clients seek divorce before having children. Both Mr. Moher and Ms. Combs agree that this generation values swift and efficient divorces, eager to avoid prolonged legal battles.
Nicole Mitchell, a 26-year-old Nashville podcaster who married at 18 and divorced roughly 18 months later, challenges the prevailing notion that one should simply abandon a relationship if it’s not perfectly fulfilling.
“I don’t entirely subscribe to that,” she expressed. “Observing the narrative promoted on social media for this generation, it’s become somewhat disheartening; it seems to prioritize solely ‘feeling good.’ I believe true meaning isn’t found by always taking the path of least resistance or immediate gratification.”
Ms. Mitchell remains steadfast in embracing her identity as a divorcée, though she emphasizes it’s not a status to be pursued casually. “It would be far easier to simply ignore my divorce,” she admitted, “but I intentionally remain open about it, hoping to show others they are not alone in this experience.”
More Than Just a ‘Vibe Shift’: The Gravity of Divorce
Mx. Wallace points out that many Gen Z individuals, even those recently married, view marriage not as a permanent or exclusive bond. The growing acceptance of non-traditional relationship structures has reshaped marital expectations, and with non-monogamous options becoming more common, some of marriage’s more rigid demands seem to lose their force.
“The freedom to explore personal autonomy through various sexual experiences, whether solo or with a partner, definitely makes the prospect of divorce less daunting,” Mx. Wallace commented.
Of course, Gen Z isn’t entirely against marriage, but many actively resist feeling trapped by it. This is a generation well-versed in diverse relationship structures, and divorce is increasingly seen as just one of many viable life choices.
Jamie Spiker, a 25-year-old from Harrisonburg, Virginia, working in marketing and admissions for a cosmetology school, ended her five-year marriage a few years ago. She strongly refutes any implication that divorce is an easy escape. “People are too quick to assume, ‘Oh, this will make me a better person. I don’t want to invest the effort to save this marriage,’” she noted.
For young divorcées, there’s often a perception that if marriage is viewed as less sacred, then divorce must also be trivialized. However, even those who openly discuss their divorces emphasize the profound impact of the experience. “It truly is a massive undertaking,” Ms. Janse stressed. “It’s irreversible, incredibly costly, and inherently messy. Practically every aspect of your life undergoes a transformation, for better or worse.”