Lisa Rinna Unfiltered: The Reality Star’s Explosive New Memoir

Whether you know Lisa Rinna as the notoriously divisive Real Housewife of Beverly Hills, a glamorous and outspoken contestant on “The Traitors,” or even a disinhibited Instagram vixen dancing to Bad Bunny and Madonna, you’d never get the sense that any emotion was off-limits to her.

She is, after all, the woman behind countless memorable cultural moments: shattering a wine glass and lunging for a fellow Housewife’s neck across a table in Amsterdam; casually inquiring about cocaine use during a dinner party, much to a co-star’s shock; or sitting cross-legged in a cage, her famous mouth pursed in resignation, sporting a puffer jacket and angular wraparound sunglasses on “The Traitors.”

But as Rinna has navigated her nearly four-decade career, which includes stints as a soap opera actress, red carpet interviewer, talk show host, QVC spokeswoman, boutique owner, and pregnant Playboy cover girl, she has confronted some of life’s most profound challenges directly in the public eye.

It was perhaps her mother’s death in 2021 and her subsequent, explosive departure from “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” that finally compelled her to slow down, confront long-buried feelings, and transform into the Lisa Rinna she is today.

In her new memoir, “You Better Believe I’m Gonna Talk About It,” released this Tuesday by Dey Street, Rinna offers a candid look at the highest, lowest, and most dramatic phases of her life. The book serves as an exorcism of her negative “Housewives” memories, a heartfelt tribute to her family and enduring marriage to actor Harry Hamlin, and an enthusiastic embrace of aging, wisdom, and hormone replacement therapy. (“I will kill you if you take my hormones away!” she famously states.)

Rinna, 62, discussed these topics during a recent lunch at the Polo Lounge in Los Angeles. She was preparing to film a reunion with “The Traitors” cast the following day — “the first time I’ve been excited about a reunion,” she admitted, spearing chunks of a well-done, bunless burger into Thousand Island dressing.

The fourth season of “The Traitors,” Peacock’s deceptive, murder-mystery-inspired competition that pits celebrities and reality stars against each other for a cash prize, is concluding this week. “I feel like the mother of the group,” she remarked about her castmates, even those with whom she had previously clashed. “I’m a mama bear. I’ll go to bat for you.”

“‘Traitors’ has helped people see that side of me — that I’m not this scary villain, devil-child,” she elaborated. “That means more to me than anything in this whole experience.”

The Masochism of Reality TV

It’s rare for Rinna to decline a professional opportunity.

“I am a worker-bee actor,” she writes, “and we respond to a paycheck and a steady gig.”

After breakthrough roles on soaps like “Days of Our Lives” and “Melrose Place” in the 1990s, that drive led her to some unconventional ventures. In her book, she recounts filming 13 Taco Bell commercials in the desert and shares behind-the-scenes secrets, like moistening burritos with baby wipes to keep them appealing. She can openly discuss her commercial for the adult-diaper brand Depend, all while acknowledging the crucial financial support it provided her family. As she famously declared on “Housewives”: “I’ll do anything to make a buck.”

However, committing to “The Traitors,” a show built on deliberate deception and secret alliances, took her six months to decide. She was still recovering from her 2022 departure from “Housewives,” which coincided with the profound loss of her mother, Lois. Ultimately, a neighbor’s adult daughter, a fan of the show, convinced her.

The experience was “a fever dream,” Rinna described. Before heading to Scotland for filming, she underwent a rigorous 537-question psychological evaluation, followed by a two-hour Zoom therapy session. “They know everything there is to know about me,” Rinna shared.

Her “Traitors” persona was notably distinct from her “Housewives” portrayal — goofier, more subdued — often to the dismay of her castmates. In one memorable exchange, competitor Colton Underwood taunted her, expecting to see her act more like “a Housewife.”

“He wanted to see me being aggressive, angry, yelling, and sassy,” she said. “I was quiet. I was measured.”

Tiffany Mitchell, another contestant on “The Traitors,” expressed her surprise at Rinna’s authentic demeanor. “I looked at her as this larger than life person,” Mitchell recalled, but Rinna immediately made her feel comfortable. “I send her my most insecure thoughts — I don’t know what I wouldn’t bring to her for advice.” Mitchell has since enshrined Rinna in her personal Mount Rushmore of idols, alongside Janet Jackson, Tina Turner, and Angela Bassett.

Rinna was eventually eliminated after a majority of the cast grew suspicious of her loyalties and voted her out. By the time she left, the show’s intense demands had pushed her to a point of catharsis. Years of pent-up grief and emotions surged forth upon her departure. “‘Traitors’ ripped me wide open,” she said, “and it was such a blessing.”

Despite her personal growth, she consistently warns others about the inherent dangers of reality TV — though her advice often goes unheeded. “There’s a masochistic element to every reality show,” she observed, but “everybody wants to be famous. It’s as simple as that.”

Playing the Villain

There’s traditional fame, and then there’s reality TV fame.

For Rinna, “Real Housewives” fame pushed her towards behaviors and decisions she might never have considered otherwise. “You don’t ever think that you would do some of the things that you end up doing out of survival,” she explained regarding her time on the show.

In her eight seasons — “the longest job I have held in my 35-year career,” she noted upon her departure — she redefined the role of a reality star on Bravo. She was transparent about treating it like any acting role, rather than pretending it was her authentic life, and was always ready to fuel the drama.

Growing up in southern Oregon, Rinna understood the allure of the antihero from a young age. “In Medford as a kid, I used to go watch live W.W.E. matches at the armory, and the fans always loved the villains the most,” she writes in her memoir.

Harry Hamlin, Rinna’s husband of almost 30 years, scarcely recognized her reality TV persona. “The person she was on ‘Housewives’ isn’t anyone I know,” he stated, believing she was merely reflecting the personality disorders of those around her. (The copy of the D.S.M. he keeps on his desk proves useful for his armchair diagnoses of her co-stars.)

In the book, Rinna reveals she returned to film the last season of “Housewives” just three days after her mother’s death. Her on-screen conduct, particularly her sharp attacks on co-stars, was often difficult to watch.

“Everyone that came in contact with me was basically like, I don’t want to look at you because all I see is grief,” she recounted. “No one knew what to do with me.”

However, in her memoir, Rinna addresses many of her notorious conflicts with former colleagues, while also divulging intriguing details about the inner workings of the series.

For instance: Designers are often reluctant to lend clothes to Housewife stars, fearing their garments might be associated with a “toxic mess.” Rinna admits to spending a significant portion of her “Housewives” salary on her wardrobe and styling to maintain appearances alongside her co-stars.

Bravo also faces criticism. “We work for gangsters,” Rinna once told her co-star Erika Jayne, as revealed in the book. “Don’t ever forget that. It’s like Vegas. Bravo is the casino, we’re the players and the house always wins.”

In conversation, she remained just as open. Discussing Kyle Richards, a “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” original, and her sisters Kim Richards and Kathy Hilton, who also appeared on the show, Rinna candidly spoke about the family dysfunction she observed. The sisters’ dynamic, she said, exhibited a level of “psychosis that you don’t even know how to begin to deal with,” which she largely attributes to their mother.

From the moment she joined “Housewives,” Rinna knew, “I do not want to be doing this when I turn 60.” She suspects at least one of her former co-stars feels trapped on the show by a sense of loyalty or obligation. “I don’t want to speak for her, but….”

With that intriguing thought left unfinished, Rinna accidentally knocked a full drink into her lap.

She laughed at her own clumsiness, fishing out ice cubes and a straw from her pants, while I expressed concern for her enormous, white faux leopard coat. Her worries were far more practical. (It was from Ann Taylor.)

“I hope she’ll bring me another iced tea.”

‘When People Ask My Sign? I Say Dollar.’

Rinna has authored books before, including a self-help guide, a provocative sex manual, and a novel about a Hollywood starlet. Yet, she was initially hesitant to write this particular memoir.

“I saw the fear and I saw things that I needed to deal with but didn’t want to,” she confessed. “I then came to the decision that I probably should write the book because of what I needed to face: grief, pain, the toxicity of ‘Housewives.’”

Despite these profound underlying themes, “You Better Believe I’m Gonna Talk About It” is remarkably breezy and self-aware. Rinna is unreserved about her cosmetic procedures, distinctive fashion tastes, and well-known frugality. (One proposed tagline for her “Housewives” credits sequence: “When people ask my sign? I say dollar.”)

“She knew what she was promising just with that title,” noted her ghostwriter, Dibs Baer, emphasizing that Rinna never intended to condescend. As they collaborated on the book, it increasingly became a narrative of Rinna’s continuous self-reinvention, Baer explained.

Rinna and Hamlin are now contemplating their next life chapters. Acting opportunities are dwindling in Los Angeles, Hamlin mentioned, and they are considering relocating abroad or to upstate New York.

Their daughters, Delilah and Amelia, are grown and flourishing in their mid-20s. Rinna, with her lifelong passion for fashion, is emerging as a style influencer just as Amelia’s modeling career is taking off. This year, Rinna even walked in a couture show at Paris Fashion Week.

Rinna believes she still has at least one more significant role to play — perhaps on a prestigious series like “The White Lotus,” or a project directed by Ryan Murphy. After her stint as a Traitor, “murdering” castmates each episode, she’d be keen to try playing a fictional killer.

But no matter how famous she becomes, some aspects of Lisa Rinna will remain unchanged. Even when she dines at the exclusive Polo Lounge, she still opts to park on the street. It’s simply cheaper than the valet.