Get a Load of This
Stephen Colbert addressed the uproar surrounding Monday’s “Late Show” on Tuesday night. He explained that he had delivered his piece after CBS chose not to broadcast his interview with James Talarico, a Democratic Texas state representative.
“We made some jokes — that’s what they pay me for — and I was ready to let it go, until a few hours ago, when my group chat blew up because, without ever talking to me, the corporation put out this press release,” Colbert shared. He then produced a statement released by CBS on Tuesday, which he humorously described as “a surprisingly small piece of paper considering how many butts it’s trying to cover.”
“Now, clearly, this statement was written by and, I’m guessing, for lawyers. Now, I’m not a lawyer, and I don’t want to tell them how to do their jobs. But since they seem intent on telling me how to do mine, here we go.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Fellas, fellas, I am well aware that we can book other guests. I didn’t need to be presented with that option. I’ve had Jasmine Crockett on my show twice. I could prove that to you — I could prove that to you, but the network won’t let me show you her picture without including her opponents. So I guess just … I’ll have to show you this picture of Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein instead. They made me do it! I didn’t want to.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“So, we obeyed our network and put the interview on YouTube, where it’s gotten millions of views. And I can see why. Talarico is an interesting guy. I don’t know if he should be the senator, but it was a good discussion. I wish we could have put it on the show, where no one would’ve watched it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“For the record, I’m not even mad. I really don’t want an adversarial relationship with the network. I’ve never had one. As I said last night, in my interview with James Talarico — check it out, it’s on YouTube, it’s pretty good — I said, I said to him I’m grateful to have worked for CBS for the last seven years and worked with George and David and Amy and everyone at the network; the Sheldons of every age, the Matlocks of every sex. I’m just so surprised that this giant global corporation would not stand up to these bullies. Come on, you’re Paramount! No. No! No, you’re more than that. You’re Paramount+. Plus what? I guess we’re all going to find out pretty soon.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And for the lawyers to release this without even talking to me is really surprising. I don’t even know what to do with this crap.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, before putting the paper statement in a dog waste bag
The Punchiest Punchlines (Eric Swalwell’s Passionate Poetry Edition)
“In even more titillating news, we are learning about the existence of erotic poetry written by California gubernatorial candidate Eric Swalwell. It explains his campaign slogan, ‘Swalwell 2026: My Loins Burn to Represent You.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Swalwell published these poems when he was a 19-year-old college student, writing for a literary magazine called The Lyricist, and describes two partners meeting atop a hotel before having ‘formless and magnificent’ sex. ‘Formless’? Congressman, it’s possible you had sex with a ghost. Let me ask you this, let me ask you this: Did they help you throw a pot at any point?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The poem continues, ‘While I screamed, she bent her lips to mine, kissing till veins imploded and exploded.’ I have been kissing wrong.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
On Tuesday, Greg Gutfeld criticized “Silence of the Lambs” star Ted Levine’s recent comments regretting the film’s transphobic elements in hindsight.
Buffalo Bill Gets Canceled pic.twitter.com/gH3jPQgY6m
— Gutfeld! (@Gutfeldfox) February 18, 2026
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The acclaimed singer and producer Thundercat will perform with Louis Cato and the Late Show Band on Wednesday.
Also, Check This Out
Tony Award winner Daniel Radcliffe had no intentions of returning to Broadway — until he discovered the script for his latest performance, “Every Brilliant Thing.”