I constantly find myself wondering how to dress for work events. My younger colleagues easily transition from their daily casual wear (jeans, knits, sneakers) to evening events, while I tend to “dress up.” This often makes me feel outdated, regardless of how good my chosen outfit is. How can I adopt a more casual yet appropriate approach that suits these occasions without feeling like a “relic”?
Let’s be honest: you’re likely to stand out from your younger colleagues no matter what you wear. Unless you have access to a magical anti-aging elixir (or perhaps a personal stylist á la Kris Jenner), age is a simple reality. No outfit, however carefully chosen, will completely mask it.
So, the deeper questions are: Why does standing out concern you, and is completely blending in truly your goal?
The modern job market can feel intimidating. There’s a valid concern that appearing “old” or set in your ways could inadvertently suggest you’re not keeping pace with new trends, be it technology or the latest AI innovations. Such subtle signals, conveyed through outdated attire, might unfortunately work against you during crucial moments like office reorganizations or potential layoffs.
On the flip side, if forcing yourself into clothes that feel wrong makes you uncomfortable or awkward, you’ll likely project that unease. If sporting jeans and sneakers to a formal work function makes you feel like you’re playing a part, others might pick up on that inauthenticity. This can subtly sabotage the confident, competent image you strive to present – the image of someone who truly knows their stuff.
And that invaluable competence, let’s be honest, often comes with experience and age.
Perhaps the most empowering solution is to actually embrace your age and the wealth of experience it brings. This is your unique asset, something your younger colleagues are still building. So, “dress the part” by simply dressing in a way that makes you feel genuinely like yourself.
If a pair of sharp pumps makes you feel powerful and graceful as you enter a room, then absolutely wear them, even if everyone else is sporting casual sneakers. Your choice will subtly signal that you bring a distinct, valuable perspective and a keen eye for detail to any situation.
You don’t need a complete wardrobe overhaul to elevate a casual look. If your go-to is typically a jacket over a button-up shirt, try swapping the shirt for a luxurious T-shirt, and ensure both it and the jacket are made from rich materials like silk or velvet. Instead of worn-out denim, opt for dark, tailored jeans or perhaps some elegant tweeds, channeling the sophisticated ease of Katharine Hepburn. If your colleagues are wearing knits, choose one with subtle embellishments like beading or metallic threads for a touch of sparkle. You might be pleasantly surprised by the positive reception!
This reminds me of a memorable scene from the 2015 film “The Intern.” Robert De Niro’s character, a 70-year-old “senior intern” at a bustling e-commerce startup, finds himself surrounded by twenty-somethings in ultra-casual attire like T-shirts, unbuttoned shirts, and jeans (this was pre-quarter-zip era, of course).
De Niro’s character consistently arrives in his signature suit and tie, maintaining the professional standard from his previous career. When the young CEO suggests he can dress more “cazh,” he calmly replies, “I’m more comfortable in a suit.” And for him, it absolutely works – a testament to the power of authentic self-presentation.
Your Style Questions, Answered
Every week on Open Thread, Vanessa addresses a reader’s fashion query. You can send your questions to her via email or X. Please note that questions may be edited and condensed for clarity.