Just last week, Sienna Jones, who works as an assistant in television writers’ rooms, got a surprising notification on her phone: she had a secret admirer.
“I simply received a notification saying, ‘Someone has a crush on you,’ and my first thought was, ‘Okay… interesting?’” she recounted with a hint of amusement.
Back in December, Partiful, a highly favored event and invitation app among Gen Z, introduced a brand new feature. It lets users discreetly identify a ‘crush’ from a party they’ve either already been to or are planning to attend. The mechanics are straightforward: if two individuals secretly pick each other as a crush, it’s a mutual match, and both receive an exciting notification.
Since its launch in March 2020—a curious moment to kick off an in-person party platform, as one founder quipped—Partiful has grown into the go-to tool for countless social gatherings. It’s the app where you might get invites to everything from a birthday bash to a professional mixer or a bridal shower. For years, I’ve heard singles confess to already using the app discreetly to spot potential romantic interests. But the big question remains: did Partiful really need to officially step into the age-old role of party matchmaker?
Ms. Jones, 29, isn’t keen on the new feature; she prefers the old-fashioned way of being pursued in person.
“If I’m interested, I expect them to ask for my number or Instagram directly, without needing to involve the Partiful app,” she explained. “I’m looking for someone who approaches me confidently and says, ‘Hey, it’s great to meet you, let me get you a drink, let me take you out on a proper date.’”
However, for Virginia Leopard, a 28-year-old architecture firm designer based in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, this new feature actually sparked a delightful reconnection.
Last December, at a holiday party she co-hosted at a cocktail bar, Ms. Leopard unexpectedly encountered a man she had matched with on Hinge eight months prior. Their initial connection on the dating app hadn’t gone anywhere beyond a few messages, but at this party, they ended up chatting engagingly for almost half an hour.
“It was genuinely lovely to finally meet him face-to-face, even if it was by chance,” she remarked.
Shortly after the party wrapped up, she received a Partiful notification: someone from the event had marked her as a ‘crush.’ Despite a guest list of about 70 people, she quickly figured out who it must be.
“I hadn’t been flirting with anyone else, so I had a strong feeling it was him,” she explained. “I took a chance and ‘crushed’ him back.”
Since their Partiful match, the two have enjoyed several dates: drinks at a Greenpoint bar, a shared yoga class, and a concert at the Bowery Ballroom. From her experience, Ms. Leopard now views the crush feature as a delightfully low-pressure way to express romantic interest.
“Traditional dating apps require you to present a full resume—your education, your profession, your height,” she noted. “But the Partiful crush is simply based on your spontaneous impression of someone you’ve met at a party.”
Shreya Murthy, Partiful’s chief executive, clarifies that the platform isn’t morphing into a dedicated dating app. She emphasized that the crush feature is integrated ‘within the framework of a wider social application that encourages you to put down your phone and engage in real-world interactions.’
Murthy further elaborated that she and her team recognized a unique opportunity to facilitate connections based on shared friendships and common interests.
“Imagine you’re both part of a run club using Partiful, or attending an engaging workshop discovered through the app’s Discover feed,” Ms. Murthy posited. “A foundational connection already exists, making it a powerful and organic way to explore a romantic interest, built on something real.”
Currently, about 20% of crushes on Partiful result in a mutual match, according to Ms. Murthy. Similar to the rest of the app, this crush feature is completely free.
During our conversation, I sensed a mix of feelings from Ms. Jones, the television writers’ room assistant, as she pondered the feature’s advantages and drawbacks. She acknowledged its potential benefits for shy individuals or as a playful, low-pressure way to signal attraction, but she also stressed that it shouldn’t become a substitute for direct interaction in dating.
“I believe rejection is valuable; it helps build character,” she stated. Yet, she quickly added, “then again, someone’s future husband, wife, or partner might just be found on the Partiful app, so I can’t entirely fault it.”
Users can send up to ten ‘crushes’ each month. For those who frequent parties but are already in relationships, Partiful offers an opt-out option within the app’s settings.
Ms. Leopard appreciated the opt-out feature, especially after a slightly awkward experience: she received another crush alert from someone at a different event, tried to reciprocate, but unfortunately picked the wrong person.
“There were two individuals with the same name at that party, so I accidentally sent the crush to the wrong one,” she recounted. “It was quite embarrassing, especially since the person I accidentally ‘crushed’ was married!”
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