Welcome to our Late Night Roundup! We’ve watched all the comedy highlights so you don’t have to, letting you catch up on the best bits while you get some well-deserved rest.
Coal Miner’s Fodder
President Trump was recently presented with the “Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal” award by the Washington Coal Club. On Thursday’s “Daily Show,” Jordan Klepper couldn’t resist offering his congratulations, noting the award came “so soon after winning the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize.”
During the segment, Klepper quipped, “And if you’re thinking, ‘This guy sure wins a lot of awards that were created just this year for him in particular,’ you’re right. That’s why tonight, we’re proud to present President Trump with the Inaugural Award for Winning the Most Inaugural Awards. Congratulations to our one and only nominee.” He added, “Is it really undisputed? Seems like your brain is disputing it as you speak,” referring to Trump.
Jimmy Kimmel also chimed in, saying, “Last night, I mentioned that Trump was honored with the undisputed champion of coal award, and today, he became the greenhouse gashole of the year,” referencing Trump’s recent announcement to repeal government power to fight climate change.
The Punchiest Punchlines (Valentine’s Day Plans Edition)
Jimmy Kimmel had some timely jokes about Valentine’s Day. “Valentine’s Day is on Saturday. This is everything you need to know. Flowers are all sold out. There are no more dinner reservations. You’re probably getting divorced, OK? But here’s a little money-saving tip: You can save a bundle on candy hearts just by writing the words ‘I heart you’ on a Tums.”
He continued with the weekend theme: “Between the All-Star Game and Valentine’s Day, there’s going to be a lot of scoring this weekend, am I right, folks?” Kimmel also joked about Trump’s holiday plans: “President Trump might be feeling a bit lonely this Valentine’s Day, because this fund-raising email has been going out from the R.N.C. that says, ‘Do you still love me? I miss you.’ And then it asks you to take a poll, and then, like a lot of dirtbag boyfriends, it asks you for money.” He added, “Donald and Melania are planning to have a romantic dinner on Saturday night — separately, of course.”
Finally, Kimmel took a jab at JD Vance: “Interesting fact about JD Vance: He never gets his wife a gift or even flowers for Valentine’s Day, because he likes it when she makes him go sleep on the couch.”
The Bits Worth Watching
Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey made his debut on “The Daily Show” where he discussed U.S. border czar Tom Homan’s announcement regarding the conclusion of Operation Metro Surge.
Also, Check This Out
Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie are starring in Emerald Fennell’s new adaptation of Emily Brontë’s classic “Wuthering Heights,” which film critic Manohla Dargis described as “florid and overstuffed.”
An image shows actors Jacob Elordi as Heathcliff and Margot Robbie as Catherine in “Wuthering Heights.”
Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures