Tune into the Modern Love podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or iHeartRadio.
‘I remember thinking, why did I let this woman whose entire job is to orchestrate breakups influence my own belief in this relationship?’
In cities across China, there’s a special kind of consultant you can hire if you find out your spouse is cheating. They’re called “mistress dispellers,” and their job is to work their way into your spouse’s life, get close to their lover and convince the pair to break it off. When all goes according to plan, the cheaters end up believing it was their idea to end the affair.
In this episode of “Modern Love,” the filmmaker Elizabeth Lo tells Anna Martin what it was like to embed herself with a mistress dispeller over the course of three years. Lo explains some of the secrets to the mistress dispeller’s success, and why working on the project played a role in her own breakup.
Lo’s documentary “Mistress Dispeller” is in select theaters today.
Want to share your story? The Modern Love team is eager to hear how financial disagreements are impacting your relationship. Share your experiences, and you might receive expert advice in a future episode.
Information on how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times is available. You can also learn how to submit a Tiny Love Story.
Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore a range of topics from politics to pop culture. Subscriptions are available through their website or on major podcast platforms.
Links to transcripts of episodes generally appear on these pages within a week.
“Modern Love” is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Reva Goldberg, Emily Lang, Davis Land, Amy Pearl, Sara Curtis and Elisa Gutierrez. The show is edited by Davis Land, Lynn Levy and Jen Poyant, our executive producer. Production management is by Christina Djossa. The show is mixed by Daniel Ramirez and recorded by Maddy Masiello and Nick Pitman. It features original music by Pat McCusker, Elisheba Ittoop, Dan Powell, Marion Lozano, Carole Sabouraud, Aman Sahota, Chelsea Daniel, Sophia Lanman, Rowan Niemisto and Diane Wong. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.
Special thanks to Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Larissa Anderson, Dahlia Haddad, Lisa Tobin, Brooke Minters, Felice León, Dave Mayers, Eddie Costas, Sawyer Roque, Sophie Erickson, Mariya Abdulkaf, Mark Zemel, Pat Gunther, Mahima Chablani, Jeffrey Miranda, Isabella Anderson, Christine Nguyen, Reyna Desai, Jordan Cohen, Victoria Kim, Nina Lassam and Julia Simon.
Thoughts? You can reach the Modern Love podcast team via email.
Want more from Modern Love? Explore past stories, watch the TV series, or sign up for the newsletter. Official merchandise and two books, “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less,” are also available.