While sports fans were glued to the World Series, Saturday Night Live brought its signature satirical lens to an equally heated contest: the race for New York City mayor. This weekend’s broadcast, hosted by Miles Teller and featuring musical guest Brandi Carlile, opened with a memorable debate among the top three candidates.
Miles Teller stepped into the shoes of Andrew M. Cuomo, the former New York governor now running as an independent. His opening remarks playfully referenced his past, stating, “I got us through Covid and then, honk honk, squeeze squeeze [with illustrative hand gestures]. Anyway, I’m back!” He humorously added that his familiarity with New York was akin to “the back of a woman’s back.”
Comedian and actor Ramy Youssef portrayed Zohran Mamdani, the Democratic front-runner. He expressed his excitement, noting he was “ready to spend the next hour hearing my opponents pronounce my name in ways you couldn’t begin to imagine.” Youssef added that he aimed to reassure those wary of a socialist Muslim candidate by “smiling after every answer in a way that physically hurts my face,” delivering an exaggerated grin throughout the sketch.
Shane Gillis, a well-known standup comedian and actor, played Curtis Sliwa, the Republican candidate. Gillis declared his excitement, mentioning he was “thrilled to be here and not getting shot in the back of a Yellow Cab five times by the Gottis and Gambinos, as I was, famously, in 1992, 1993 and ’94.” He proclaimed himself the best candidate, offering apologies to “Mr. Cuomo and — I believe I’m saying this right — Zoltar Rob Zombie.”
Moderator Errol Louis, played by Kenan Thompson, questioned the candidates about their desire for “the worst job in the world.” Teller’s Cuomo replied, “As soon as you are elected mayor, everyone in the city immediately hates you. And in that way, I am already one step ahead of the game.” Youssef’s Mamdani spoke of a better New York with affordable housing, free healthcare, and Wi-Fi, before conceding, “Can I make that happen? I’m not sure yet. But together we’re going to find out. That the answer is no.”
When asked for their preferred bagel orders, Gillis humorously referenced a past incident: “As you know, in 1982 I had my penis cut off and fed to me by the yakuza. So, obviously, blueberry bagel, toasted, strawberry cream cheese, eaten over a garbage can.” Following a comedic rejection of an endorsement from Mayor Eric Adams (Kam Patterson), Youssef made a direct, romantic appeal to female voters experiencing “white guilt” over neighborhood gentrification: “Why don’t you vote for me? You’ll feel a little less bad about that chicken and rice shop getting turned into a Sweetgreen.”
Just as the candidates were about to address the biggest challenge for a mayor, James Austin Johnson burst in as President Trump, triumphantly announcing, “It’s me!” After playfully mocking the mayoral hopefuls and sharing his own bagel preference (“Big Mac with a hole in the middle”), Johnson, still in character, added that even though he no longer resides in New York, he’s “always watching — lurking in the shadows, much like the late, great Phantom of the Opera.” He then surprised everyone by donning a “Phantom” mask and delivering a surprisingly tuneful rendition of “The Music of the Night.”
Double Act of the Week
Move over, Michael B. Jordan! When SNL needed hosts for a “Property Brothers” parody, they turned to Miles Teller, who impressively played both Drew and Jonathan Scott. The pre-filmed segment also brought back James Austin Johnson as Trump for a second time, alongside Chloe Fineman as Melania Trump, as they hilariously struggled with renovating the White House’s East Wing. As Teller’s character explained, “The Trumps have already made a few subtle changes to the house.” Fineman’s Melania added, “Donald got rid of the portrait of F.D.R., and he put a painting of himself as a soldier from Halo.”
Weekend Update Jokes of the Week
At the Weekend Update desk, anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che delivered sharp jokes on a White House Halloween event and efforts to cut SNAP benefits.
Jost kicked things off:
President Trump and the First Lady hosted a trick-or-treat event at what’s left of the White House. And this is one of my favorite things that the president does because it’s so clear he never trick-or-treated once in his life. In his first term, here’s how he gave candy to a kid dressed as a Minion. [He plays video from 2019 of President Trump and the First Lady putting candy on the top of a trick-or-treater’s costume]. Melania’s just like, “I guess that is how it’s done.” And then again this year he did it to a kid dressed as D.J. Marshmello. [He played video from this week of President Trump again putting candy on top of a trick-or-treater’s costume] Just put it in the bag. Why is he so weird? Even the kid is like, “This is not right.” It’s kind of an embodiment of his entire presidency, because it’s just a violation of norms that no other president or person has ever conceived of. Like, who’s ever thought, “I should put the candy on the kid’s head?”
My favorite part, though, was when Trump and Melania made a grand entrance to this song. [playing video of President Trump and the First Lady entering to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.”] Just the perfect soundtrack to lure kids to a famous mansion.
Che followed with:
Due to the government shutdown, SNAP food benefits ran out of funds today. But the government still provides needy families with free food through the Second Amendment. Japan’s new prime minister, Sanae Takaichi, said during a press conference that she is nominating President Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize. And I can’t believe I get to say this, but thank God nobody listens to women.
Weekend Update Desk Segments of the Week
After a two-week absence, Bowen Yang finally returned as George Santos, the ex-congressman whose prison sentence had recently been commuted by President Trump. When Jost introduced him as “the world’s No. 1 marathoner,” the audience knew who was really coming. Yang’s Santos claimed to have already won the (uncontested) New York City Marathon, took prison calls from “Ghislaine,” “Luigi,” and “Diddy,” and even flaunted a “rightfully inherited” jeweled necklace “from the Zales” that he’d “liberated” from the Louvre.
Finally, Ashley Padilla and Andrew Dismukes charmed the audience with their portrayal of a slightly rumpled post-hookup couple. Their awkward yet endearing interactions served as a surprisingly apt metaphor for the ongoing negotiations between Republicans and Democrats during the government shutdown.