As the Los Angeles Dodgers and Toronto Blue Jays went head-to-head in the World Series, *Saturday Night Live* turned its spotlight to an equally fiery competition: the race for New York City’s mayor.
Host Miles Teller, alongside musical guest Brandi Carlile, opened the show with a hilarious political spoof, envisioning a mayoral debate featuring three prominent candidates for the city’s top job, portrayed by Teller and two SNL alumni.
Miles Teller skillfully embodied former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, now running as an independent. His opening statement, a blend of bravado and suggestive gestures, declared, ‘I got us through Covid and then, yada yada yada, honk honk, squeeze squeeze. Anyway I’m back.’ He humorously added that his familiarity with New York was akin to ‘the back of a woman’s back’ — ‘Mamma mia!’
Comedian Ramy Youssef took on the role of Democratic front-runner Zohran Mamdani, quipping that he was prepared for an hour of his opponents comically mispronouncing his name.
To soothe any anxieties about a socialist Muslim candidate, Youssef promised to ‘smile after every answer in a way that physically hurts my face,’ a promise he delivered on with exaggerated grins throughout the skit.
Shane Gillis, the standup comic and actor (who was briefly a ‘not-quite’ SNL cast member), portrayed Republican candidate Curtis Sliwa. Gillis enthusiastically declared his joy at being present, stating it was ‘thrilled to be here and not getting shot in the back of a Yellow Cab five times by the Gottis and Gambinos, as I was, famously, in 1992, 1993 and 94.’
Gillis confidently asserted his superiority, sarcastically apologizing to ‘Mr. Cuomo and — I believe I’m saying this right — Zoltar Rob Zombie.’
Moderator Errol Louis, played by Kenan Thompson, posed the probing question: ‘Why would anyone want the worst job in the world?’
Teller’s Cuomo retorted, ‘As soon as you are elected mayor, everyone in the city immediately hates you. And in that way, I am already one step ahead of the game.’
Youssef shared his vision for a better New York, complete with affordable housing, free healthcare, and Wi-Fi. He then candidly admitted, ‘Can I make that happen? I’m not sure yet. But together we’re going to find out. That the answer is no.’
When asked for their preferred bagel orders, Gillis delivered a bizarre and unforgettable response: ‘As you know, in 1982 I had my penis cut off in front of me by the yakuza. So, obviously, blueberry bagel, toasted, strawberry cream cheese, eaten over a garbage can.’
Following a tongue-in-cheek endorsement from Mayor Eric Adams (portrayed by SNL cast member Kam Patterson), Youssef directly addressed the camera, offering a playful plea to female voters grappling with ‘white guilt’ over gentrifying their old Spanish neighborhoods.
Youssef suggested, ‘Why don’t you vote for me? You’ll feel a little less bad about that chicken and rice shop getting turned into a Sweetgreen.’
However, before the mayoral hopefuls could tackle the city’s most pressing issues, James Austin Johnson, reprising his role as President Trump, dramatically burst onto the scene, proclaiming, ‘It’s me!’
After playfully mocking the candidates and revealing his unique bagel preference (‘Big Mac with a hole in the middle’), Johnson’s Trump asserted that despite no longer living in New York, he’s ‘always watching — lurking in the shadows, much like the late, great Phantom of the Opera.’
He then captivated the audience by donning a ‘Phantom’ mask and delivering an unexpectedly melodious rendition of ‘The Music of the Night.’
This Week’s Hilarious Double Act
Watch out, Michael B. Jordan! When *SNL* decided to parody the popular HGTV series *Property Brothers*, host Miles Teller stepped up to play both Drew and his twin, Jonathan Scott. This pre-taped sketch also brought back James Austin Johnson’s President Trump, who, alongside Melania Trump (Chloe Fineman), comically botched the demolition and reconstruction of the White House’s East Wing. Teller humorously noted, ‘The Trumps have already made a few subtle changes to the house,’ to which Fineman added, ‘Donald got rid of the portrait of F.D.R., and he put a painting of himself as a soldier from Halo.’
Weekend Update’s Top Quips
At the Weekend Update desk, anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che delivered sharp commentary on a White House Halloween event and the Trump administration’s controversial attempts to suspend SNAP benefits.
Jost kicked things off:
President Trump and the First Lady hosted a trick-or-treat event at what’s left of the White House. This is one of my favorite things the president does because it’s so clear he never trick-or-treated once in his life. In his first term, he once placed candy on top of a kid dressed as a Minion. Melania seemed to think, ‘I guess that’s how it’s done.’ He repeated the same peculiar method this year with a child dressed as D.J. Marshmello. Just put it in the bag! Why is he so strange? Even the kid looked confused. It’s almost a perfect metaphor for his entire presidency – a complete disregard for norms that no one else would ever imagine. Who would think to put candy on a kid’s head?
My favorite moment, however, was when Trump and Melania made their grand entrance to Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller.’ Truly the perfect soundtrack to lure children to a famous mansion.
Che followed up:
Due to the government shutdown, SNAP food benefits ran out of funds today. But thankfully, the government still provides needy families with free food through the Second Amendment. Meanwhile, Japan’s new prime minister, Sanae Takaichi, announced her nomination of President Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize. Honestly, I can’t believe I get to say this, but thank God nobody listens to women.
This Week’s Standout Weekend Update Segments
After missing out two weeks prior, Bowen Yang finally made his highly anticipated return as George Santos, the former congressman whose prison sentence for wire fraud and other offenses was recently commuted by President Trump. When Colin Jost announced ‘the world’s No. 1 marathoner,’ everyone knew it was Yang. Santos proudly claimed victory in the (yet-to-happen) New York City Marathon, took calls from his ‘close friends’ Ghislaine, Luigi, and Diddy, and even flaunted a ‘stolen’ jeweled necklace from the Louvre, which he declared as the rightful property of his ancestors, ‘the Zales.’
Finally, the charmingly awkward segment featuring Ashley Padilla and Andrew Dismukes as a post-hookup couple, full of double entendres and fumbled interactions, served as a surprisingly apt metaphor for the ongoing government shutdown negotiations between Republicans and Democrats.